What the signs secretly hate

Aries: When they step in a puddle of water with socks on
Taurus: The word “hipster”
Gemini: People that just stand in the middle of shopping aisles
Cancer: When someone licks their fingers or thumbs in order to turn a page
Leo: People who use iPads as cameras
Virgo: People who eat with their mouths open
Libra: Laugh tracks on sitcoms
Scorpio: People spending the majority of a concert filming it through a smartphone
Sagittarius: Onions
Capricorn: When they get told to do anything
Aquarius: Software updates
Pisces: When people keep trying to talk to them while they’re listening to music