an abandoned idea of necromancer andrew and forest druid neil
men who straight ppl consider attractive but activate my fight or flight response
Au
in which after riko’s death he manages to haunt neil as a ghost??? Or
something??? Happy Super Late Halloween tho!!tw for death, riko in general, mentions of past abuse, blood, references to broken bones and guns
There had been something about seeing Riko’s arm dressed in a
sling, broken and ruined in a way that seemed to mirror the past damage dealt
to Kevin’s left hand. It was no secret that had Riko had the opportunity, there
was no way his game would ever recover enough to make it to court. He’d never get to live
his life the way he wanted to – it felt like the sharpest karma for what he
tried to do to Kevin, and Neil felt it in the victory which called the bullet
Ichirou put in his head a mere insult to injury.Neil, privately, would have preferred to see Riko live through
that. To watch him scramble and suffer as he tried to do what would be near
impossible in the best of circumstances, let alone if he’d continued to play
for the Ravens. Neil was certain that he wasn’t alone with that, either.
The campus felt alive when they returned back to Palmetto after
their win – and the pride that Neil felt for his team, his Foxes, was immense.
The way that everyone around them seemed so effected by it too, so alive with energy,
only managed to sweeten everything so much more. Summer was coming and he’d get
to spend the entire time hidden away with Andrew – learning each-other and
appreciating having all the time in the world to just feel alive.
drop whatever you’re doing right now and climb a tree
its pitch black outside, and freezing cold. I think ill climb a tree tomorrow
you climb that fuckin tree right now
I’ve literally never seen this post on my dash when it is not after dark and cold as balls. I’m beginning to think this is a conspiracy to get us eaten by some nocturnal tree demon.
everybody put in the tags at what time you saw this
do i need to explain all of this? no, i don’t.
Therapists aren’t people who you “pay to pretend to care about you”, therapists are people you pay to teach you how to care for yourself
Me: I am violently depressed.
Therapist: Oh! Sounds like you need to do YOGA! That will help!
Me: *signs up for yoga*
Me: *is violently depressed in Downward Dog*
Me: I hate myself and only see my flaws
Therapist: ok lets refocus on things you like about yourself. This week i want you to try and journal about good things you’ve for yourself and others.
Me: *does the homework* yeah but i still hate myself but feel bad cause i shouldn’t
Therapist: feeling like you shouldn’t hate yourself is a step in the right direction. Mental health is complex and isn’t something that will ~magically~ improve. We have a lot of hard work head of us but I’ll be here to help you.
TL;DR stop perpetuating the idea that therapy is unhelpful because the results are not instantaneous.
sometimes you say or do bad things while you’re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i’m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you’re through that episode, you need to take steps to make amends. you need to apologize.
“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.
“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.
when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.
if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.
you deserve friendship, and you deserve support. but a supportive friend is not an emotional punching bag, and mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. what you say during a mental breakdown doesn’t define you. how you deal with the aftermath though, says a lot.
This is the most carefully-nuanced discussion of this I think I have ever seen. Thank you for writing this.
Shadow In The Light 