prompts: my significant other is a spy and i’m the quartermaster

rhythmofaporttown:

  • “the first time we formally met was at 2 in the morning in an art gallery where i handed you an unlocked box with a gun and a radio”
  • “all of the other agents in this entire organization make an effort to bring back equipment while i have to watch you throw your 75K gun at a goon when you obviously could have punched him in the face”
  • “i don’t appreciate you breaking into my flat just to prove that you can”
  • “we have to pretend to be a couple for this mission but mi6 has no clue we’ve been fucking for months”
  • “the next time you attempt to break into my flat i’m going to tell my cat to ruin your life”
  • “my cats love you and this pains me”
  • “you’ve managed to scare every one of my minions so no one but me is ever on the comms when you’re in the field”
  • “our superiors are quite against office relationships but they play a blind eye when you sexually harass me in my own branch”
  • “you beat me in strip poker and now i have to make you an exploding pen”
  • “there is a strange joy that we get in busting crime syndicates”
  • “i just need you to come back in one piece even if your weapons don’t”