melynen:

Again, I may think too much

I want a 00Q fic where Bond has been flirting with Q for a longer time now, but with no noticeable success. Instead, it seems like every time he has managed to spend a few minutes alone with Q something happens – maybe a minion needs Q, or another field agent arrives to bother Q, or a phone rings, or even Eve comes to whisk Q away – and Bond is left wondering what is going on.

And Q? Well, he has the world’s most annoying crush ever on Bond, but he knows better than to act on it. Oh does he know it, after having watched Bond seduce his way through countless women and some men, leaving behind a string of broken hearts or, even worse, broken bodies. Q has no desire whatsoever to lose his life (or his heart, though he suspects that one might be a lost case already) over a one night stand, given how much he enjoys his job and his life with his cats. So who cares if he doesn’t have a boyfriend? His life is plenty meaningful without one, thank you very much, and less dangerous one night stands can be found easily from certain clubs he used to frequent with his friends at uni, should he desire a distraction.

So Q, with his clever mind and his innocent beauty, sets to work. He makes sure that he has eyes on every part of his branch, and when possible the whole of MI6, to keep track of Bond’s movements and to better arrange distractions whenever the man comes to bother him. He uses his friendships, his position, anything he can to make sure that the time he spends with Bond face to face is kept to a minimum. And let’s face it, Bond gets bored easily, so when he notices that nothing is happening between them, he will surely move on to someone who is more amenable to his advances. Q gives him a month to forget all about his Quartermaster, perhaps two or three if his missions run long enough to keep him away from London for several days at a time, but that’s it.

What Q forgets to take into account, however, is how cunning 007 can be. Thus, the long-term mission where he is required to accompany Bond to the field takes him by surprise.

And Q, well, he is not fond of surprises. Especially if they feature Bond in any way, shape, or form. Too bad Bond has his own plans and does not seem to care about Q’s misgivings.