Tag: asexuality

theyeti-ready-freddy:

lbyrinth:

fenharella:

i’m not even sure what sexual attraction really feels like

for me it’s something i think happened to me maybe once or twice, and only in a relationship.

people talk about others they find sexy and i never see it. aesthetically pleasing yes, but sexually attractive? does not compute

sex is something that i could do, if i wanted, but i could live without it

i like pretty people. i like kissing pretty people. i like intimacy, but sexual intimacy isn’t something i need or want

people talk about how they can’t go ‘without’ for more than a week. i’ve been ‘without’ for over three years and i never think about it

i like writing smut. i like drawing smut. neither make me less asexual

i get more fulfilment from good food than i ever did from sex

people talk about asexuals as if they’re naive and innocent babies. i’m an adult. i know what sex is. i just don’t care about it.

i’m not weird, broken, or wrong. just asexual.

this post has made me think that I might be asexual ???

^^^^

alistairian:

What I want to do: tell people I’m asexual so it’s out of the way and they can stop assuming I’m allosexual

What I don’t want to do: give a 5 minute explanation of what asexuality is followed by a 10 minute debate on whether or not it’s actually a real thing followed by yet another another 10 minutes of uncomfortable questions as they continue to try and disprove my sexuality to me 

hunterinabrowncoat:

In aid of Asexual Awareness Week, I’ve decided to make a post about autochorissexuality and just what it is.

The term ‘autochoris’ was coined by Anthony Bogaert, and essentially translates to ‘identity-less sexuality’. It is a sub-section of asexuality, which he describes as:

A disconnection between oneself and the object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the activities therein.

Essentially, we like the idea of sex, and/or enjoy reading/writing/watching sexual content, but don’t actually experience attraction or want to have sex with anybody.

You might be autochorissexual if:

  • You get aroused by sexual content but don’t actually want to engage in any sexual activities yourself.
  • You masturbate, but are neutral or repulsed by the idea of having sex with another person.
  • When you fantasize about sex, you envision people other than yourself, and/or you view it in third person, as though you’re watching it on TV, rather than imagining it in first person, through your own eyes.
  • You predominantly or entirely fantasize about fictional characters or celebrities, rather than people you actually know.
  • You identify as asexual and feel no sexual attraction to people, but enjoy masturbating, are aroused by sexually explicit content, and/or have sexual fantasies.

This isn’t an exhaustive checklist, and ultimately nobody can give you a label but yourself. But hopefully this post has brought you a little closer to understanding autochorissexuality, whether you are asexual, grey/demi, questioning, confused, or just wanting to raise awareness.

Here are some further resources if you want to learn more:

An essay on autochorissexualism vs lithsexuality, the flag (as depicted above, but without the text caption), Anthony Bogaert’s short paper on Autochorissexualism, and my inbox is always open if you have any questions.

If you’ve found this post informative, please signal boost to help raise awareness and understanding about all the different aspects and subsections of asexuality!

Source: hunterinabrowncoat

one-eyed-pom:

autismserenity:

blazinaces:

shrapnel-to-the-heart:

Honestly how are the ace/aro communities even doing any harm to the LGBT+ community?? People keep saying that they’re “taking LGBT resources” but like… people aren’t gonna use same-sex/gender resources if they don’t apply to them?? Like what even counts as a resource anyway?? All we’re doing is showing up at pride events and making blog posts?? The only argument as to why we shouldn’t be included is because we’re not oppressed enough….? We don’t want your resources or whatever we just want to be accepted as part of the community

Just to add to that, if we were using LGBT+ resources, how would that be a waste?? Like if that’s something we need then the resources would still be going towards helping someone.

If an aro/ace person needs to call a hotline specifically because of their orientation, then that’s not a waste.

If an aro/ace person needs to see a therapist/counselor/supports for LGBT+ people because of their orientation, then that’s not a waste.

If an aro/ace person needs to stay at an LGBT+ shelter because their parents kicked them out, or their spouse/romantic partner/friend/etc tried to used corrective rape to “change” or “fix” them, or are without a place to stay for whatever reason, then that’s NOT a waste.

OK so like by the way guys

In the nonprofit industry, by and large, having MORE clients using the resources you offer is a GOOD thing.

I think this should be signal boosted to the stars actually.

Because in my experience, most people, no matter what the resource is or who it’s for, try to avoid using it and tell themselves it’s not for them.

Like, even something like a queer youth group. Even people who are definitely sure they “count” will so often be like, “I mean, I don’t really need support or anything, that’s really for other kids.”

The main exception is if all your friends already go and it feels like just a normal thing to you.

Nonprofits are usually bending over backwards trying to include anybody who might possibly ever need their resources even the tiniest bit!!!

I know this from both working and volunteering in the nonprofit field for over 15 years btw. Everything from queer youth groups in SF and Hayward to environmental law firms.

(And this is a really dense, high population area with an extremely high cost of living. So there’s no “sure, but in most places there are more people in need.”)

And part of the reason they’ll bend over backwards to include everyone is that they really really really want to help as many people in need as possible, and they don’t want to risk losing anybody who even sort of counts.

But guess what?

A BIG part of the reason is MONNNEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY.

THE MORE PEOPLE THEY SERVE, THE MORE FUNDING THEY GET.

I am gonna repeat that.

BOTH GRANTS AND DONORS GIVE MORE MONEY TO NONPROFITS THAT HELP MORE PEOPLE,

and also,

MANY GRANTS REQUIRE AN ORGANIZATION TO HELP A CERTAIN NUMBER OF PEOPLE EVERY YEAR.

And even in a super queer, super dense area like this, we’re always trying to find more people to help.

If you have a really really specific situation like a homeless shelter, then yeah, ONE of the services they provide (beds) is finite. But even then, they want to help as many other people with clothes, food, support groups, job counselors, or whatever else they have to offer, as possible!

When they have more people they help, they get more funding and visibility, and they can hire more people TO help. It creates jobs and gets them into a positive cycle (the opposite of a vicious cycle) of helping more and more people!

P.S. When a nonprofit like The Trevor Project trains its volunteers to take calls from aces and/or aros… which is the main example I see her thrown around as “they’re stealing our resources!”…

That’s not an example of aces/aros stealing things. They got nothing to do with it. That’s am example of a nonprofit seeing a need and deciding they want to fill it.

It’s incredibly disrespectful to ignore nonprofits’ boundaries and act like they aren’t able to make their own decisions about who to help. It’s disrespectful to everyone involved.

Also will mention, when it comes to LGBT safe spaces, cishet aces/aros aren’t likely go to those spaces for support if they are violently homo/bi/transphobic. And even then, transphobic gay people and (to a muuuuuuch lesser extent) bi/homophobic trans people go to those spaces too. 

It’s so two-faced to use possible phobia as an excuse to exclude cishet aces and aros when those scenarios can exist. And if this does happen, just ask the individuals creating the problem to leave!! I’m so tired of this excuse being thrown around when all aces and aros deserve spaces to get away from straight people.