Tag: au

Job AUs

cup-of-hot-coffee:

General

  • ‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot
    never mind please do come in’ AU
  • ‘I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and
    you step in and stand up for me’ AU
  • ‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my
    purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au
  • ‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU

Hairdresser
AU

  • ‘You’re my
    regular customer and I’m in love with the feel of your hair’ AU
  • “Rumor has
    it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair
    day so that’s why I’m here’ AU

Gift store AU

  • ‘Why the fuck are you choosing that for a gift to your crush’ AU
  • ‘You walk in and offer to pay me to wrap your gifts’ AU

Florist AU

  • ‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower
    and give it to me’ AU
  • ‘I work part-time in a flower shop and you keep asking me about
    what this flower means in flower language and I honestly don’t know so you end
    up giving me a lesson’ AU

Jewellery shop AU

  • ‘You walk in and ask for the most expensive piece are you
    loaded to the gills what the fuck man’ AU
  • ‘I’m the employee and this is the first time ever I’ve met
    you but you buy me a necklace saying the gem compliments my eyes’ AU

Coffee Shop AU

  • I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your
    barista’ AU
  • ‘You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the
    times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly
    horrible ways’ AU
  • ‘You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black
    coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never
    finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU
  • ‘Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking
    in’ AU

Bakery AU

  • ‘Your love of strawberry shortcake really doesn’t match your
    appearance but i still think that’s really cute’ AU
  • ‘Every morning you walk in and inhale deeply then walk back
    out seriously just buy something already’ AU 

Drug Store/Chemist AU

  • ‘You embarrassedly place your items into the counter so I
    call a price check just to make you feel more awkward, but it turns out one of your
    items were actually overpriced’ AU

Bartender AU

  • ‘You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping
    something into my drink’ AU
  • ‘I ask you to concoct something from all the ingredients on the list i gave you and it
    ends up tasting so horrible and wrong that i can’t stop laughing’ AU

Teacher AU

  • We’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how
    many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three
    years’ AU
  • ‘Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’
    AU

Writer AU

  • I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect
    taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m
    doing okay’ AU

Fast food Chain AU

  • ‘You just ordered a smile and I look at you like you’re
    batshit insane before bursting out into laughter’ AU
  • ‘You’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you
    hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the
    cone’ AU
  • ‘We have a free refill policy for soft drink and you’ve
    prepared several empty bottles what the fuck’ AU

Corner Shop AU

  • ‘I see you come in here every day to buy the same drink and
    one day I leave a message on the bottle’ AU
  • ‘You run in looking really panicked and you ask for 6
    gallons of milk why’ AU

 

Restaurant AU

  • ‘You’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so
    nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you’ AU
  • ‘You’ve always been a good cook so I encouraged your start
    your own restaurant and seven years down the track you own one of the most successful
    businesses’ AU

Idol/Manger AU

  • ‘I’m your manager and holy shit you have crazy fans’ AU
  • ‘You’re an idol and you got the lead role in a romance drama
    and you practice at my expense’ AU
  • ‘Can you please act appropriately do you know just how many
    of your fuck ups I’ve had to cover up last week’ AU 

Firefighter AU

  • ‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re
    begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU
  • “No that’s impossible
    how the fuck did you manage to get it to catch fire?!”     AU

Sex Line Operator AU

  • ‘I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very
    soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ AU
  • ‘I have a very
    cute neighbour and very thin walls and
    one day I call you and err your moans
    are very synchronised with my
    neighbour’s’ AU

And Finally:

  • You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your
    drug den’ AU

sorry not sorry

Hartwin AU’s

eggsyunnwin:

  • Harry is Roxy’s uncle and Eggsy is Roxy’s fake boyfriend
  • Harry is the Headmaster of the school Eggsy is trying to get his sister into
  • Eggsy is a thief who breaks into Harry’s house without realizing Harry is sleeping upstairs
  • Harry is an ER/A&E doctor and Eggsy keeps coming in with injuries from Dean
  • Harry is a professor and Eggsy is his TA
  • Harry thinks they’re on a date and Eggsy thinks it’s a casual job interview
  • Harry uses his lighter grenade and brings a building down on himself. Eggsy is the firefighter that rescues him
  • Harry and Eggsy are dating, but Eggsy doesn’t know about Kingsman
  • Harry is an established superhero and Eggsy is the new guy still fighting muggers in alleys
  • Eggsy likes to seduce and rob older, rich men, but he gets in over his head with Harry

fittingroomthree:

Hogwarts AU time.

Eggsy is obviously a Hufflepuff (seventh year) and he’s damn proud of it. He’s fiercely protective of the first and second years, giving anyone who gives them a hard time a swift verbal beatdown.  He knows his way with a broom and, of course, is a Seeker. He also once illegally enchanted a car to fly and made The Sun headlines. He secretly enjoys Muggle books and likes to read with Roxy, his best friend. He also has a crush on his DADA professor, hanging around after class to act like a cocky shit. His patronus is a pug. 

Harry is the DADA professor, also the Head of the Slytherin house. A smooth and polite gentleman, he is easily respected. Once an Auror, now he is a professor. Unlike other Aurors, he has extensive knowledge of Muggle combat and weapons and carries around a sleek black umbrella wand. He was also voted as “Best-Dressed Professor” by the Hogwarts school journal. He has a soft spot for Eggsy, the Hufflepuff who keeps hanging back after class and flirting with him (he has to constantly remind himself that Eggsy is still a student before he does something unwise). His patronus is a yorkshire terrier.

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The Children’s Charity Garden Club AU

“So which one’s yours?” Harry hears just as he starts patting the soil down. Leaning back enough so Harry can see his face, the man smiles and throws a helpful glance over at the children chasing each other to their right.

“None,” Harry answers. “Too young for kids.” He holds the man’s gaze, tries to make the once over he gives him look natural and fails but Harry figures that no harm’s been done when he notices the man’s sudden interest in the stretch of his jeans from where he’d been trying to find a comfortable position to kneel down in for the passed hour. There’s dirt tickling Harry’s nose when he suddenly finds a gloved hand shoved in his face.

“Peter.” He smiles. The pliant soil on their gloves make the handshake feel odd, but the heat Harry can feel coming from Peter’s hand gives it some familiarity.

“Harry,” he barely gets out before Peter’s wetting his lips and grinning heartily.

“I know.”