Imagine them dancing. Not slow, romantic dancing, but twirling and stepping on each other’s feet and slightly drunk and person A falls, dragging person B down with them.
Imagine them sleeping together. Not holding each other close or spooning, but person A snoring so loud that person B has to hit them to wake them up. And imagine person A hogging the blankets and person B getting upset because it’s really cold.
Imagine them shopping. Not together shopping, or couple shopping, but arguing over prices. Person A picking out the most ridiculous things and person B rolling their eyes, and then person B getting like some healthy vegetable bag or something and person A getting grossed out by it.
Imagine them watching a movie together. Not cuddling together, or one getting scared and clutching the other, no. Imagine them watching something stupid and person A cussing out the tv while person B rolls their eyes and, “WHat the hell are you doing HE’S NOT THE FATHER!!!1!”
Imagine them being just as hopelessly in love with each other as ever, without any cliche fanfiction moments.
I love the idea of Marinette forgetting she’s not in costume and losing all sense of personal space with Chat Noir. Like, she’s supposed to be a civilian who Doesn’t Know Him but she nudges him in the ribs with her elbow and pulls his tail and climbs all over him and pushes him away when he makes her laugh
and Adrien has no idea what the heck is happening but he likes it so he just rolls with it
you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like “you won’t do it. you’re too good” and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me “you won’t do it” i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch
Keep in mind that there is almost always a third option, most especially when the person talking is vague about what, precisely, it is that you “won’t do.”
If it’s noodles, pour them on your sister instead of on her computer, or if the noodles are quite hot, pour them on her pillow or in a great spattering arc around her room.
If you have a supervillain at gunpoint and *they* say you’re “too good” and “won’t do it,” shoot them in the leg/foot or the shoulder. The former allows them to think they’re right while you lower the gun only to be confronted with sudden understanding and regret when you blow their metatarsals to kingdom come, while the latter is instant and avoids giving them even a moment’s satisfaction or any time to charge you while you’re lowering the gun to shoot them in the leg.
Door Number Three usually exists and is often your friend. Endeavor to cultivate awareness thereof.
Ethical dillemas are rarely reducible down to a clear binary.
I think my tabletop players are a little too good on the third option thinking. Keeps me on my toes and writing extra notes as GM.
sometimes you say or do bad things while you’re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i’m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you’re through that episode, you need to take steps to make amends. you need to apologize.
“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.
“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.
when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.
if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.
you deserve friendship, and you deserve support. but a supportive friend is not an emotional punching bag, and mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. what you say during a mental breakdown doesn’t define you. how you deal with the aftermath though, says a lot.
This is the most carefully-nuanced discussion of this I think I have ever seen. Thank you for writing this.
Shadow In The Light 