watching a new show

*beautiful heterosexual couple, clearly canon, tons of screen time, longing looks, violin music kisses, dramatic sacrifice, sweet nothings*
brain: hmm…nah
*dysfunctional frenemies, probably gay, maybe illegal, no way in hell this will ever happen, both have other love interests, definitely just a bromance*
brain: ah, yes. this is what i will devote my life to.