saying “can u not” to inanimate objects that are just following the laws of physics but in, like, inconvenient ways

If a man expects a woman to be an angel in his life, he must first create heaven for her…angels don’t live in hell.

foreignpapi:

dynastylnoire:

callmemoprah:

SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE FOLKS IN THE BACK

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

damn that’s true

yessss

more like

list of things im handling well currently

1.

so-uncivilised:

tumblr mobile users be like

I’m on mobile so I don’t know if this isn’t loading or if it’s a joke

How to know I watched a new show/movie and I liked it: *aggressively reblogs everything about it in sight*

I procrastinate so much now that if I ever become a vampire I will literally put things off for centuries.

the nerdier a pickup line is, the higher a chance it’ll work on me

me: sorry
friend: why??
me: idk, just in case

I’ve got 99 problems and I’m not dealing with any of them