I really hope someone in the distant future sees pictures of us from this time period all sporting flower crowns and flowery beards and thinking that was very magical and neat of us.
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
❤
today on satan makes a blog post
Life tip: if someone slashes 3 of your tires, slash the 4th one yourself and blame it on the person who slashed the first 3. Now, your insurance will pay for it.
Life tip: If you slash 3 of their tires, hide out nearby until they discover their slashed tires. Take pictures of them slashing their fourth tire. Show police when they arrive on scene. Convicted of insurance fraud and still have to pay for tires.
i feel like i’m reading a Spy vs Spy comic in text format
REPEAT AFTER ME: ‘My current situation is not my final destination’
quote i stumbled across a few days ago and can’t get out of my head it’s so important (via coolfrthesummer)
scar’s brother was ultra hot and im so mad he is dead
I JUST REALIZED THAT I SHOULD CLARIFY THAT I AM WATCHING FMA: BROTHERHOOD AND I AM NOT IN FACT LUSTING AFTER MUFASA, SCAR’S DEAD BROTHER IN THE LION KING
“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.
A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.
I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,
Shadow In The Light 